I don’t miss my kampung that much, not the food, nor the things that I think I’m missing when I’m here, but I just miss how I feel when I’m there hugging mom all day, it’s just missing a moment when I’m there sitting with my mom and sist in the corner of our small kitchen, cooking our fav foods, drinking from our ‘family glass’ one after another, talking about everything, sharing them about my silly life and love story, laughing at many things, laughing at my silly sister’s laughs. I just miss when I have a sit with aunt when I have a little fight with mom, or talking with mom when I have little fight with aunt. I miss the taste my aunt gives all the time, I miss my wise yet calm great brother, his disturbing cigarettes that I hate so. I miss seeing my uncle having breakfast, lunch and dinner while our cat is waiting for his turn, missing the moment of togetherness when we are greeting every people who walk in front of our house, offering them to come giving a short visit, and having other little convo with neighbours..
It’s just a feeling that I miss being there, the moment when I don’t need to wait a while when I wanna kiss mom, not even need to be limited by time when I wanna hear her voice..
So the one and only thing that I’m missing is myself being there with my lovely family..
I know everyone at home is missing me as well, and we are looking forward to seeing each other as soon as possible. And while waiting for that moment to come home, I’m pretty sure that I will do my best here, doing every good thing my family want me to do, every single thing that gives them the reason to let me stay this far from them..
Sacrificing a ‘little’ moment won’t be that hard, I believe I am doing good and will be doing better, for them, as they are doing so.
And hey, it’s not a disturbing and bad feeling, it won’t affect my study 🙂 I love what I’m doing, I love having all these great experience 🙂 I never regret being this far, even if the loneliness sometimes rise up and bring me to tears. It’s tears of loneliness, happiness, loveliness and pride to be a fighter for them *and myself* 🙂
di tengah musim gugur yang hampir membeku
12 Oktober 2012
*lagi keranjingan nyoret-nyoret aja, sudah lama sekali sejak terakhir berbetah-betah berjam-jam mencoret-coret dan curhat pada kertas-kertas, so please ignore my chaotic grammar* :))